As any writer will tell you, it’s normal to go through highs and lows. The highs of getting a great idea, finishing a script, or receiving recognition for our work can sustain most of us through the low times. The times when ideas won’t come, where words won’t flow, and we’re wondering why the hell we thought being a writer was a good idea in the first place. Sometimes it lasts a day, sometimes for weeks, but usually the work resumes and the writer recovers.
The Quitting Point
There’s another type of low that luckily doesn’t come around as often and this type of low isn’t easy to shake. It is the deep unshakeable feeling that you are a failure, that your writing is all terrible, and even the thought of putting a word down on paper feels like an insurmountable task that can bring on extreme anxiety. It’s the quitting point. The point where you say, “I can’t do this anymore.”
My quitting point wasn’t a single event. It was about two years of debating whether or not it was worth it to continue writing. The lows were greatly outweighing the highs and the ideas simply dried up. All the projects I had started came to a screeching halt. Plot problems, character problems, they were all a disaster. New ideas refused to come. It’s like they saw what had occurred to my other projects and refused to hop on a sinking ship. I was lost.
Killer Shorts & Writing Again
I don’t remember how I heard about the Killer Shorts contest. I didn’t think about it at first, because I didn’t write horror scripts. I likely would have forgotten all about it except later that night I got an idea. I know this doesn’t seem like much, but after struggling for months having a fully formed story pop into my head felt like a small miracle.
I had never written a horror script before and I had never written a short, but this idea kept nagging at me. I started fleshing it out in my head, then making an outline, and before I realized it, I was writing again. I’ve heard before that when you are trying to work something out in your head it’s best to do something completely different. For me, horror was something completely different and it had me writing again.
I will admit old habits die hard. The first script I submitted to Killer Shorts was as long as they would allow. I went from not being able to write a single word, to finding myself cutting pages in order to make the cutoff. I submitted the script and went back to my old projects only to realize the same problem was once again waiting for me. I tried to push through, but quickly found myself right back where I started.
No More Quitting
In early February, I decided I was done. I told myself the next morning I would be focusing on getting a new day job and that would be my only job. When I woke up the next day I received an email telling me my Killer Short was a quarterfinalist. I decided right then and there I wasn’t quitting again. I continued to write. Every time I hit a roadblock I would start brainstorming a new horror short and the words would flow once more. The ideas were back, my writing was back, and I now had an entire new genre to explore with my writing.
Entering the Killer Shorts competition has opened doors that seemed fully shut only a short while ago. After placing as a semifinalist this year, Killer Shorts arranged for my writing partner and I to have a career consultation with Coverfly. Their development team has helped us to define our career goals and focus on opportunities that align best with our plans. Coverfly has also been extremely helpful in providing feedback and resources as we get ready to send our script out into the world. Killer Shorts also provides a facebook group for finalists in their competition. It is through this group that I’ve been able to swap scripts with fellow horror writers and receive fantastic notes back while also hearing about new writing opportunities.
A little over a year ago I thought I was ready to quit writing. Now I find there is never enough time in the day for all the words I need to get down. I feel like a writer again and I’m both surprised and grateful that when I reached the quitting point, horror was the genre that made me try one more time.
For anyone else feeling lost, I’d say give horror shorts a try, because there is nothing scarier than not being able to write. The Killer Shorts competition opened for entries on July 1st. For more writing information and support check out The Screenwriters Network.
